Tag: postpartumsupport

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Let’s Talk Openly About Breastfeeding

Mother holding a baby

I’m sure we can all agree how beneficial and great breastfeeding is but do we also talk about how common it is to experience breastfeeding difficulties? I did a poll on my Instagram stories recently and 75% of moms indicated that they found breastfeeding difficult at some point.

Breastfeeding is amazing and miraculous and when you really think about it, it’s absolutely wonderful. However, I think a lot of us moms are shocked when we first attempt breastfeeding our babies and find it’s not as easy or straight-forward as we thought it would be. I mean, how could it be so hard? You just put baby on your breast and away he/she goes with the feeding- surely our mothers and their mothers did it so it must be easy because no one ever talked about it being hard. Then we try it and we realize it’s not what we expected it to be like. We think we’re doing it all wrong because we’ve never heard another mom talk about how much it hurts when the baby latches on or that it took a month for their baby to learn how to latch and feed properly or that they had gut-wrenching pain with every feeding. We never heard of cracked nipples and soreness and the exhaustion from trying and trying to feed and get the perfect latch and positioning and still our babies come off hungry and fussy and we feel all our hard work has gone down the drain.  We never heard about mastitis and plugged ducts or tongue ties/lip ties.

You may start thinking that you’re the only one struggling and that you’re messing up this whole motherhood thing. But you’re not. You’re not alone and you’re not messing it up. It really is that hard.

I’ve been wanting to write this post for some time now because I’ve heard from so many mothers about how challenging their breastfeeding journey was. I want to normalize how difficult it can be so that when a new mom tries to breastfeed and realizes how hard it is, she doesn’t come down hard on herself or think that she’s the only one. If you’re having breastfeeding troubles, know that so many mothers are experiencing or have experienced the exact same thing. There is lots of help out there if you need it- lactation consultants really helped me along my breastfeeding journey so don’t be afraid to reach out.

  I had a lactation consultant help me out in the hospital before being discharged and then I had a nurse come out to my house two days after being home with my son and she really helped me with positioning and latching.  I thought I was prepared since I had taken a prenatal breastfeeding workshop and I had read all sorts of books before having my first baby but when it came down to the real deal, I was lost and confused. I spent hours on the couch feeding my son for the first couple months and I remember feeling so disheartened every time I read online that nursing sessions shouldn’t take more than 45 minutes on average and that newborns typically eat every 3 hours- both of which were far-fetched realities for me.

Most of the mothers I personally know have also experienced some difficulty of some sort with breastfeeding. You are not any less of a good mother if breastfeeding didn’t work out for you. I hear from many mothers that breastfeeding is a huge source of guilt because it didn’t work out the way they had hoped. Your feelings are 100% valid but the good news is that there are so many opportunities for you to bond with your baby and give him/her a great start in life.

So if you’re currently struggling with breastfeeding or you have struggled in the past, please know this: you’re not failing- breastfeeding really can be that hard.

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To the Mother of a Newborn Baby

The newborn phase- a time of learning how to take care of a baby that is fully dependent on you while also trying to recover from one of the most challenging/remarkable experiences of your life. 

It can be a time of trying new things, learning, unlearning and doing it all over again day after day. 

I’m here to tell you that it’s ok to feel overwhelmed and to find this phase extremely challenging. It’s ok to not enjoy every single minute as we’re sometimes advised to do by well-meaning individuals. It’s ok for us to just focus on surviving this phase and not having to worry about fitting back into our pre-pregnancy clothes or on keeping our house in immaculate condition.

I recently came out of the newborn trenches aka newborn survival mode and I feel you dear mama. To the mom trying to feed a fussy baby for hours. To the mom who has to miss out on so many things (including sleep) because your baby needs you 24/7. To the mom sitting in her car or at home alone, or a mall change room, trying to feed her baby or put them to sleep with no luck. To the mom who just wants a three-hour stretch of sleep but even that seems too far off. To the mom who finds herself worrying about everything although she never thought she’d be that type of mother. To the mother who stays up at night (even when the baby’s asleep) thinking about whether she’s doing this motherhood thing right. When you feel overwhelming love for your child but you also feel stuck in this new whirlwind that you thought you were prepared for, but weren’t.

When you wonder how and when will it ever get easier? When you wonder to yourself where is this supportive village for mothers that everyone talks about? When you feel that everyone else’s world keeps going but yours has stood still.

To every mother- it seems like this is it and that it’ll never change. But it will. You may think how do all the other moms make it look so easy and why am I the only one who can’t figure this out? But no mother has it easy – not a single  one of us, because this motherhood thing is hard. 

One day at a time.

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Why Taking Care of Mothers is so Important

The whole premise behind my page is the importance of mothers being taken care of. Mothers are constantly giving of themselves, their time, and their energy to the point that neglecting her own self-care needs becomes the norm. As a society, we need to look at how to better support mothers as they embark on this incredible journey of raising and caring for another human being, while not forgoing her own needs and health. Many mothers struggle with postpartum mood and anxiety disorders in addition to physical health issues which become exacerbated in the absence of support. Mothers are being loaded with so many responsibilities in this day and age and it can truly become overwhelming to meet all the expectations placed on us. I’m hoping we can continue the conversation of mothers’ health and well-being being just as important as everyone else’s and find ways to support one another as we tread along our individual motherhood journeys. I’m looking forward to sharing my journey with all of you and for us all to realize that despite our unique journeys, we experience much of the same things and that we’re never alone.