Tag: parentingtips

Posted on by

Preparing Your Child for Kindergarten

boy colouring

 I’ve been thinking so much about my son’s journey of formal education starting this September and along with trying to keep my emotions in check, I’ve been trying to prepare him for kindergarten. My son has been going to daycare/preschool for the past couple of years now since I returned to work after my maternity leave. He’s used to the structure of a classroom and a routine which I know will be helpful. He has adjusted to being in a class with other children and 1-2 educators and having to wait his turn and share toys/activities. He has learned some very important skills which I know will serve him well as he enters school. His preschool has been primarily play-based so he’s had pretty much full days of unstructured play time which is great for children’s development and nurturing of social skills.

I’ve been talking to some of my teacher friends and trying to understand more about what kindergarten will look like. I think one of the biggest changes for my son will be that he will no longer have the opportunity to nap as he is still taking a mid-day nap at this point. The other thing he will have to adjust to is a brand new school with new staff and new children. My son has a difficult time with transitions but I’ll discuss below some of my strategies to help this transition be a smooth one.

I hope you find some of these strategies helpful in preparing your child for school and some tips on drop-off and pick up.

  1. Talk to your child about it.  Talking to children about the transition coming up ahead can be really helpful and choosing the right approach is key. Talking about all the exciting things they will get to learn and explore at school and trying to associate school with positive things will help. Walking them through what a typical school day will look like for them can help settle some of their fears as unpredictability and unfamiliarity are hard things for children to cope with.
  2. Read books about starting school with your child. I’ve invested in a couple books about starting school and I’ve been reading them with my son. Stories are such a powerful way to help make concepts easier to understand for children. We have a Daniel Tiger one that my son loves. I use stories for pretty much every transition my son has had to cope with (potty training, a new sibling, sleeping in a big bed, etc.)
  3. Validate their feelings. My son told me the other day that he was scared to go to “big boy school.” I validated his feelings and told him that it’s okay to feel frightened about going to a new school. I told him that we would help him through it and that one day it won’t feel as scary anymore.
  4. Take them to visit their new school. Although schools are closed during the summer, you can still drive by the school and show it to your child and show them the playground and get them excited about it. It’s much easier than showing up on the first day to a place they’ve never seen before or have only visited once. Most schools also have tours that you can go on-ask your child’s school if they can come for a tour of the school and their class.
  5. Teach your child how to do things on their own. In kindergarten, there are many children in the class and often times only 1-2 educators. I’ve been working on helping my son become more independent with dressing/undressing, opening containers and toileting as these are things he’ll be typically expected to do on his own.
  6. Get your child involved in picking out school supplies. This can really get them excited about it and reduce some of their anxiety about going to school.
  7. Keepsake. Get them a little keepsake they can keep with them and give it to them on their first day. It can be something very small that they can keep in their pocket which they can hold whenever they feel lonely or scared.
  8. Drop off tip: At drop-off, instead of focusing on the separation, focus on what’ll happen when you pick them up. Tell them you’ll go home and have a nice treat together or play a favourite game of theirs. Having a snack in the car for the way home can be really helpful as children are usually hungry and tired after a long day and it can help to prevent meltdowns until dinner is ready.
  9. After school tip: Give them time and space to unwind after a long day. We all love this as adults, and children do as well. Sometimes children just need to sit down in their familiar home environment and play with a familiar toy or read a book they like as a way to decompress after a long, emotional day. Try not to bombard them with questions on how their day went right away. Give them time to process and relax and then through play, you’ll find that they’ll be more willing to share about their day.

You’ve got this mama, and so does your child.

Posted on by

Transitions in Motherhood

Mom with child walking on dock

Our motherhood journeys are filled with transitions. Some of them are good, and others are more difficult. We go through the transition from being pregnant to recovering and experiencing all the joys and challenges of the postpartum phase. The transition from sleeping well to not sleeping well. The transition from having some time to ourselves to being responsible for another human being 24/7.  We go through transitions with our babies who develop and grow so quickly from tiny babies to little crawlers to toddlers. We transition from only feeding them breastmilk/formula to solids and from swaddles to sleep sacks. We transition them from bassinets or from sleeping next to us to their own cribs/beds. We may go through the transition of being at home with our kids to going back to work or the opposite may happen. Transitions can be difficult to cope with and some transition periods may take longer than others. The important thing to remember is to give yourself some grace and kindness through it all. Change can be difficult, even when it’s a good change.

Tips to Help Cope During Transitions:

Be kind to yourself. Being kind to ourselves and to those around us is key during these transitions. Knowing that it may not always be a smooth ride and that our expectations play a big role in how our experience goes, is so important.

Find a supportive community. During the difficult transitions in my life, I found it immensely helpful to seek out others going through the same thing and talking about it with them. Having a supportive community is so helpful and it can really uplift us when we feel things weighing down heavily upon us. Whether it’s friends or family or even finding a supportive network of other moms online, having support of any kind is beneficial. When I returned to work after my maternity leave, I had a friend of mine add me to a messaging group of other working moms and we all talked about our daily struggles and joys and we shared tips which was such a wonderful and timely support for me.

Give yourself time and permission to feel what you’re feeling. When we’re going through a difficult transition, it can sometimes feel as though these feelings we’re having are going to last forever. We may feel stuck in how we’re experiencing this transition and think that things may not get much better. We may come down hard on ourselves for finding it so difficult when we think that others were able to get though it “just fine.” I’m here to tell you dear mama that your feelings are valid. I’m here to gently remind you that everyone experiences transitions differently but we may think that others are able to get through them just fine however we simply don’t know what they’re feeling or what they’re going through. We sometimes take things at face value and reach conclusions without knowing for sure which in turn can make us feel bad about ourselves because we think others have it all together, yet we’re struggling daily to make it through. There’s nothing wrong with you for finding a particular transition difficult-your feelings are there for a reason. Listen to yourself and give yourself time to process it all.

Envision what things may look like after the difficult transition has passed. This is a very useful technique I sometimes use with my clients (and I use it too!). Let’s say you’re transitioning your child from your room to their own room and you’re having all sorts of nervous, yet excited feelings about it. You’re nervous because you’ve been so used to having them at arm’s reach and being able to check on them frequently throughout the night, yet you’re also excited to have your bedroom back and hopefully get better sleep for the both of you. First off, know that all your feelings are valid. Then take a moment to envision what it may look like when your child has settled nicely into their new environment and you have your privacy back. It may help settle some of the angst you have and help you keep going throughout the transition to think of the end goal and how nice it may be.  

Transitions are difficult and we may not talk about them with each other enough which may make us feel more lonely and isolated in how we’re feeling. You’ll get through it mama, it won’t always be this unsettling or frightening.