Tag: motherhoodtips

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Activities That Keep My Kids Entertained, and Keep me Sane

Childen playing on the ground

These are my favourite activities to do with my kids- and we’ve been doing them a lot more these days. Just a little disclaimer though- I hesitated before posting this because I never want another mom to see this post and think I have it all together and that my kids don’t have screen time and are easy to entertain. My kids watch tv, we watch family movies together, and I certainly don’t always have it together. These activities are things I use throughout the week and I’ve found them helpful and wanted to help out other moms. We’re all in this together! I have a two-year-old and a four-year-old so most of these activities are things we can all do together given their ages. You may need to adapt them given your children’s ages.

  • Picnic in the living room/basement/patio. I love this one and I’ve used it a few times this year on those rainy days at home -It’s an instant mood booster for my children and it gets them excited. I get them to help me pack our picnic basket. We usually do it in our living room. We lay a plastic table cover underneath us and sit together and eat our lunch. Sometimes to really get us in the zone, I put a youtube video of a nice meadow or nature scenes with nice music in the background- I know it sounds kind of cheesy but it really does give it a picnic feel.
  • Use household items to make crafts. I love this one and I’ve been using it a lot during this past week. Empty paper towel roll? My son uses it to decorate his new telescope. Empty cereal box? We flatten it, open it up, and make it our new city which my son paints, decorates, and builds buildings on using LEGO’s (thank you @busytoddler for this one) Empty egg cartons can be used to make all sorts of crafts too or for sorting activities.
  • Indoor camping. This fits in with my indoor picnic idea. When we get to that point in the afternoon/evening where everyone is having a hard time especially after being indoors for most of the day, I say “who wants to go camping?” My kids right away know to bring pillows and blankets onto the ground near our fireplace and they know I’m grabbing marshmallows from the kitchen. We all sit on the ground, eat marshmallows by the fire and each person takes a turn sharing a story.
  • Scavenger hunt. Nothing like a good scavenger hunt to get children excited. I find it doesn’t even take that much prep work. Pick 5-10 items you can hide around your house (I use snacks too as a bonus incentive and then they can eat them right after- buys me more quiet time and less-asking-for-snacks later). I read the list of items to my kids (they’re 2 and 4 so they need a bit more help with this one) and then off they go. Some of the items I hide include: Mr. Potato-Head, paw patrol toys, picture frames, wooden alphabet letters, legos (find a yellow lego piece), etc.
  • Hide-and-seek. I love this one for several reasons. It gets my kids up and moving, they’re beyond excited throughout it, and I get to do most of it while sitting on the couch. My son usually wants me to be “it” and asks that I count to 30 (or 9 somedays) We usually play it in our basement so I can literally see them the whole time and I don’t have to walk all over the house trying to find them then when I’m done counting I take my time trying to “find” them. They love it, it keeps them entertained, and I get to finish my coffee while it’s hot. Win-win.
  • Keeping a journal. My son’s teacher sent home a blank journal on their last day of school and asked parents to have their children keep a record of what they did during this time at home. I’ve incorporated it into our late afternoon daily routine and my son doesn’t mind it. I ask him to draw (he’s 4 so he can’t really write a whole lot yet) his favourite activity we did that day. I know it’ll be nice to look back on when this is all over and it helps him appreciate the things we did that day.
  • Pull out the craft box. I have a supply of craft items (construction paper, pipe cleaners, paint, crayons, markers, glue, scissors, beads, Pom-poms). Sometimes I find a craft idea online and we do it together and other times it’s just do-whatever-your-imagination-wants type of craft.
  • Play restaurant. Tell your children that you’re visiting their restaurant (they can come up with a name for it too!) and tell them your order. Depending on their age, they can actually make the items or for younger kids, they can make them out of play-doh. I usually order spaghetti and meatballs which are pretty easy for my kids to make out of play-doh. It keeps the kids entertained while you sit at the kitchen table-Another win-win!
  • Obstacle course. Have your child build an obstacle course that their favourite toys/trucks have to get through. You can use legos, pillows, Kleenex boxes, anything really and you’ll be amazed what they come up with.

Having said all of this, just a little reminder mama that if you already have activities that work or if you read some of these ideas and think “my children would never enjoy this” then that’s totally okay too! I never want to post something that puts more pressure on mothers- we have enough to manage already. These are simply activities that have worked for us and have a positive effect on my children and on our overall morale at home.

We’re all in this together.

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Making Before and After School a Smoother Time

It’s the third week of school already! I’ve definitely learned a few things over the past three weeks that have helped make our mornings before school and our afternoons after pick-up from school smoother for everyone. My son started junior kindergarten this year and we’ve made it through the transition and now we’re working on developing a good morning and after-school routine.

So what does our routine look like?

Prepare the night before. There are the obvious things I do the night before to make our mornings smoother such as prepare his lunch, his backpack, and clothes. It makes things much less stressful in the morning.

Try to start your day earlier to avoid the stress of rushing. In the morning, I try to get an early start for the day to give us time to deal anything that may come up and just to give us enough time to get ready without the stress of rushing. Even fifteen minutes earlier can make a difference.

Validate, and don’t dismiss feelings when they’re expressed. My son today told me he doesn’t want to go to school. I asked him why and he said he was scared. I sat beside him and asked him more questions about how and what he was feeling. I gave him time to talk about it and validated his feelings and helped him settle some of his fears and problem-solve around them. It’s important to give some time to settle your children’s fears when they voice them but I know it can be stressful when you’re rushing to get everyone ready and out of the house. A few minutes can go a long way though- it makes me think of how nice it is when as adults we’re struggling with something and someone takes the time to listen to us- just that in and of itself and can help us feel better.

Use a visual timer. I don’t know about your kids but my son likes to take his time getting dressed and we try to foster some independence in this area and get him to do as much as possible but we obviously step in and help when needed. It’s usually a very long, slow process though to get him to agree to get dressed for school so I started using a visual timer for my son to see how much time we have for this. He’s actually responded well to it and tries to beat the timer which has saved me a lot of nagging in the morning. A friend of mine uses the timer on her phone which works well too!

Now for after-school:

Food. Always have food on hand. When I go to pick up my son, I pack a couple snacks for him to eat on the way home as he’s usually starving! He’ll sometimes finish some items from his lunch but I also bring a back-up in case he has nothing left. I try not to let him snack too much as we have dinner a little while after we get home but I give him enough to avoid the hangriness and the ride home is usually much smoother and happier for everyone.

Give them time to unwind. The drive home is typically quiet as my son is usually busy munching on his snacks and I ‘d rather give him some time to unwind after a long day before chatting to him all the way home about his day. After we get home, we wash up and change and then I tell my son to go rest on the couch for a bit (if I can’t do that, someone else might as well do it) or play until I empty out his lunch box and backpack. He usually asks for the TV right when we get home but I try to delay it a bit until he’s rested and had some quiet time after a loud, busy day at school.  I’ll then come and talk to him a bit about how his day went then I’ll turn the TV on while I’m preparing dinner.

Expect that meltdowns and tantrums may happen. Learning about the concept of “after-school restraint collapse” has been super helpful in getting me to understand my son and why he has meltdowns sometimes after school and how to respond to them. He’s not doing it to make my life harder- he’s genuinely struggling after a long day of trying to keep it together and now he feels safe to let all his feelings out. Perhaps he got in trouble for something he didn’t do or a friend stopped playing with him or got called a name by someone in his class. Our children don’t always tell us everything they’ve experienced and may just respond with “good” when we ask them about their day. They may have experienced so many difficult emotions and not had the opportunity to process them so they save that for home. It’s important to empathize and give them their space and not to take it personally- they need a safe, compassionate person to help them through it (You!)

I hope everyone’s back-to-school transition has gone smoothly and that everyone is adjusting well! If not, don’t let it bring you down as it is common for the transition to take time. I’m still trying to get things in order as there are days where we definitely don’t have it all together. It’ll take time and we’ll all get there eventually.

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How I Get Things Done With My Children At Home With Me

Child playing with books

I think in a world where there is so much controversy around different parenting styles and opinions, one thing I think most moms would agree on is how difficult it is to get things done at home when your little ones are around, demanding every second of your attention and every bit of energy you have.  As much as we’d like to be present with our children and dedicate our full attention to them, there are things we still have to do on a day-to-day basis to keep the ship afloat.  A lot of these things are also directly related to caring for our children yet the conundrum is that they sometimes don’t give us the opportunity to do what we need to do. You may look at the clock and find it’s already lunch time yet the dishes from the night before are still sitting in the sink, the garbage hasn’t been taken out and it’s over-flowing, the laundry baskets are sitting abandoned in a far away corner (both in your house and in your mind), those appointments you were supposed to make still haven’t been made, you have no idea what to prepare for dinner, and you have little ones pulling at you, wanting you to play with them.  Sound familiar? Or you may be able to get little things done here and there but by the end of the day, you feel as though you accomplished nothing. In reality however, you did accomplish things- you actually did a lot but because it didn’t meet the expectation you had set for yourself that day, it feels as though your to-do list was untouched.

So what can we do? Do we just keep on living in an endless cycle of “too-much-to-do-and-not-enough-time-or-energy-to-do-it?” I wish I had a simple solution that could solve this dilemma for us moms who are just trying to take good care of our children, our homes (and hopefully ourselves too), however we think that either our children are going to be neglected while we do it, or our home and our to-do list will continue to be pushed to the back burner.

I’ve come up with some tips that have personally helped me keep my head above water although just a disclaimer: I have not mastered the art of getting things done with little ones around. I try each day to do what I need to do, but there are days where I go to bed and I would need another 3-4 hours to truly finish what I need to finish for the day. I’m still learning about how to make things work better in this phase of life that I’m currently in and I know that my strategies will need to keep changing to be aligned with the phase and circumstances I’m going through.

  • Set realistic expectations. I know there may be eye-rolls with this one but hear me out. I know it can be overwhelming when things get left undone but just remind yourself that you are one human being. You may have multiple children who are all in need of your attention and care and trying to do everything you need/want to do everyday with young children around can be unrealistic.  This may be the most important thing I did for myself when I became a mother-I became kinder to myself and cut myself some slack when things didn’t always go as I had hoped they would and if I go to sleep at the end of the day with my house not looking immaculate, I’m okay with that. My standards have gone down a notch and I’m perfectly okay with it because my house has young children living in it and a mother who is desperately trying to keep up, but has chosen her sanity and well-being over getting it all done. You deserve to cut yourself some slack too and find how you can make your expectations of yourself kinder, more practical, and more realistic.
  • Ask yourself: Does this task need to get done today? I know we have tons of things to do each day and so our expectations become that we have to finish everything on that list because it’s ALL essential. Here’s what I’m saying: if it doesn’t get done today, how much will it impact your day tomorrow? Think about what you have going on tomorrow. Is not folding this basket of laundry going to have a significant impact? Obviously you want to get it folded and out of the way rather than let it hang over your head for days on end, but when you’re going through your day and you realize that there just isn’t time to get this task done, can it wait for another day/time? Prioritize what needs to get done today and simplify wherever you can.
  • Try to get things done that you can’t do while your kids are awake while they’re napping/having quiet time in their rooms. This is where I get creative and I take a look at what my day entails and I categorize the tasks that I absolutely can’t do when my kids are awake and running around such as mopping the floor or taking a much-needed shower (I don’t like an audience). I try and save one or two tasks like these for when they’re napping and then I use the rest of their nap for rest time for me to keep me going for the rest of the day. Of course if your kids don’t nap at the same time that can pose a problem but it’s easier to get things done even if only one of your children is napping and the other is awake (unless they usually keep each other entertained then try to make their naps at the same time if possible or give one a nap and the other quiet time in their room if it’s safe to do so). The main thing here is that there are some tasks that you can maybe do while your children are awake and playing in the same room as you but other tasks that you can plan to do while they nap/are being watched by someone else.
  • Try to involve your children in the tasks. I know this is easier said than done! Cleaning up can be a group effort once you get your children used to it. It may be hard at first, and it also depends on their ages but starting to get them used to helping you clean up early on may save you tons of time (and grief) later on. It also gives them a sense of responsibility to learn to clean up and put their toys away. I try and implement the rule that they can’t move to a new activity until the activity/toy they’re playing with has been put away.
  • Set your kids up with an activity-a little bit of set-up can go a long way even if it’s an activity that’ll keep them entertained for 15-20 minutes-you’d be surprised how much you can get done in that time frame! I have a supply of crafts that I keep on hand for these types of moments where I need some time to get something done. I pull out the paint, playdough, sensory bins, construction paper, scissors, crayons, etc. and I let my son get creative.
  • Make an investment in your children’s attention/quality time bank. This is something that can actually work and it can make everyone feel better so win-win. Our children love to be around us and love when we give them our undivided attention and especially when we play with them. It can go a long way if you dedicate a good chunk of time (even if it’s just 10-15 minutes) to solely playing with your child or engaging in an activity with them. When I take the time and do this, my children are usually okay to play independently for a little while after I slip away or I sometimes tell them “mommy has to go and finish something but I’ll be back to play some more” and they’re usually much more willing to play and entertain themselves until I get back. Even if your child only starts out by playing independently for 10 minutes-that’s huge in the world of toddlers/young children. It’s something that can keep developing so don’t be disheartened if they only play alone for small periods of time.
  • Place your child in their highchair with snacks/toys while you cook/get things done. If your child is young enough, this is a strategy that can help you keep them safe while you get things done. Of course if your child is eating they should always be supervised but at least they’re in one location, you can easily see them, and your arms are free to do stuff and also keeps your children from playing at your feet. This is how I normally cook- I place my daughter in her high chair with some snacks/toys and I keep talking to her/singing to her which keeps her entertained.  
  • Time Blocking. This is one my favourite strategies. How it works is that basically when you get up each day, prioritize your top 3-4 tasks that need to get done that day. Of course we all have an endless number of important things to do each day but pick the top 3-4 that really need to get done.  Pick the top tasks and figure out during your day when you’ll be able to dedicate time to each one. You may be tempted to get them all done right away but you may end up frustrated when you keep getting interrupted by your children. Plan 20-30 minute time blocks for each activity-this will make it seem much more manageable and then if you only get 25 minutes done on the given activity, at least you’ll have accomplished some of it if not all of it and it’ll feel less overwhelming to you. It can look something like this: 8:00-8:30 (laundry) 10:30-11:00 (start lunch/dinner prep-cut up vegetables, etc.)  1:00-1:30 (kitchen clean-up)  2:00-2:30 (phone calls/appointment booking). You can see that planning things this way makes it seem much more manageable, and gives you that flexibility in your day to tend to your children and any other things that come up in your day. It also helps you focus on one thing at a time which makes it easier to get it done quicker. Time blocking can be very effective if used correctly and consistently.
  • Involve your village. I know this one may not be applicable to everyone as some of us live away from family and have limited support. If you are fortunate enough to have some support nearby, tap into it. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to ask for someone to watch your children for some time so you have a solid chunk of time to do what you need to do. It’s ok to send your children with their father/aunt/grandparent to the park while you stay home and get some needed rest or time to yourself to get things done. I know us moms have a hard time asking for help and voicing our needs sometimes but we are 100% deserving to be taken care of and heard.
  • Outsource when possible. This can really make your life easier and I look at it as an investment in my time and health. For example, can you order your groceries online and pick them up or have them delivered to free up some of your time? It might also help to find someone to come and help with housework a couple hours a week. This can go a long way in helping free up some of your time and giving you time to do other things. Are there meal delivery services or catering options to help you avoid hours on meal preparation every day? It may be worth the investment!
  • Don’t let what others are doing make you feel pressured. It’s natural for us to compare ourselves to others. We do it without even being fully aware of it a lot of the time.  We think that so-and-so is able to juggle all aspects of their life so flawlessly so why shouldn’t we be able to? We start to think of ourselves as lagging behind and incapable while so many other mothers are doing it all and then some without struggling. All untrue. No one has it all together. Please please please don’t look at things at face value and make assumptions that everyone has it all together and that you need to be able to do more. This will only set you up for more overwhelm, pressure, disappointment in yourself, and lower self-esteem. You will stress yourself out while trying to do more and it’ll end up making you feel frustrated and potentially resentful when you’re unable to do everything you need/want to do. Take it one day at a time, mama and realise that you’re enough as you are.

I know it’s hard when we feel like we’re drowning in tasks and responsibilities, but a shift in our mindsets and expectations about what’s realistic in this phase of life with young children can really help take some of the pressure off. I’d rather my children not look back and remember me as constantly stressed about the state of the house. They’re children, they don’t understand what we have to do to keep things going and all they’re going to see is a frazzled mom when they don’t understand why. It’s hard to balance giving our kids attention and getting things done because both are important and I’m right there with you with the stress that can creep in. But take it one day at a time, one task at a time and take a deep breath. It’ll all get done eventually. I hope you found these strategies helpful- you’ve got this, mama!

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Thriving in Motherhood

blossoming tulip

I know there are phases in our lives where we are in survival mode. Our main priority is to get through that minute, hour, day, and week while tending to our most basic needs and the needs of those around us. The problem however arises when we feel that that’s all we’ve been doing over a long period of time- barely getting through each day. 

If you’re finding yourself to be constantly running around whether it’s juggling home life, or home life plus working or running your own business or taking care of other family members, along with social commitments and the like, and you feel depleted, sleep-deprived, stressed, and overwhelmed, then perhaps it’s a good time to take a step back. Take a big step… way back. Then go back some more.

How long have you been in this mode, mama? This isn’t meant to shame you or make you feel guilty about your lifestyle- this post is simply intended to bring to your awareness that survival mode isn’t a healthy or pleasant way to live long-term. It’s to remind you that thriving from this incredible journey of motherhood is possible. It can help you grow into the person you want to be. It can help you find your passion. And it can help you prioritize and see the things that matter most in your life. 

If you’re finding that you’ve been in survival mode for way too long, think about what it is that can facilitate a change. Do you need more help from those around you? Do you need to drop a commitment or activity? Do you need to put some boundaries and limit interactions with some people who further deplete you? Do you need to look at your expectations of yourself and whether they’re realistic now or not? Do you remember the last time you did something purely for the sake of taking care of yourself? 

This isn’t to say that you need to be constantly growing and thriving and can’t have those periods in your life where things are understandably difficult and you just need to focus on getting through. This post is looking at the big picture and trying to figure out what areas of your life may need to be revamped in order to help you thrive in the ways you would like to.

We can thrive along this messy, complicated, beautiful, difficult, miraculous journey. We just have to re-evaluate our priorities from time to time and figure out what it is we need to get us there. 

And remember dear mama that your needs don’t always need to be on the back-burner. Your dreams don’t need to be forgotten. Yes, there may be phases where some things need to be on hold, but don’t forget yourself, mama. Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean “me first,” it means “me too.” You are important and worthy and valuable and needed and loved.

It doesn’t always have to be survival mode.

You can thrive mama. 

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Transitions in Motherhood

Mom with child walking on dock

Our motherhood journeys are filled with transitions. Some of them are good, and others are more difficult. We go through the transition from being pregnant to recovering and experiencing all the joys and challenges of the postpartum phase. The transition from sleeping well to not sleeping well. The transition from having some time to ourselves to being responsible for another human being 24/7.  We go through transitions with our babies who develop and grow so quickly from tiny babies to little crawlers to toddlers. We transition from only feeding them breastmilk/formula to solids and from swaddles to sleep sacks. We transition them from bassinets or from sleeping next to us to their own cribs/beds. We may go through the transition of being at home with our kids to going back to work or the opposite may happen. Transitions can be difficult to cope with and some transition periods may take longer than others. The important thing to remember is to give yourself some grace and kindness through it all. Change can be difficult, even when it’s a good change.

Tips to Help Cope During Transitions:

Be kind to yourself. Being kind to ourselves and to those around us is key during these transitions. Knowing that it may not always be a smooth ride and that our expectations play a big role in how our experience goes, is so important.

Find a supportive community. During the difficult transitions in my life, I found it immensely helpful to seek out others going through the same thing and talking about it with them. Having a supportive community is so helpful and it can really uplift us when we feel things weighing down heavily upon us. Whether it’s friends or family or even finding a supportive network of other moms online, having support of any kind is beneficial. When I returned to work after my maternity leave, I had a friend of mine add me to a messaging group of other working moms and we all talked about our daily struggles and joys and we shared tips which was such a wonderful and timely support for me.

Give yourself time and permission to feel what you’re feeling. When we’re going through a difficult transition, it can sometimes feel as though these feelings we’re having are going to last forever. We may feel stuck in how we’re experiencing this transition and think that things may not get much better. We may come down hard on ourselves for finding it so difficult when we think that others were able to get though it “just fine.” I’m here to tell you dear mama that your feelings are valid. I’m here to gently remind you that everyone experiences transitions differently but we may think that others are able to get through them just fine however we simply don’t know what they’re feeling or what they’re going through. We sometimes take things at face value and reach conclusions without knowing for sure which in turn can make us feel bad about ourselves because we think others have it all together, yet we’re struggling daily to make it through. There’s nothing wrong with you for finding a particular transition difficult-your feelings are there for a reason. Listen to yourself and give yourself time to process it all.

Envision what things may look like after the difficult transition has passed. This is a very useful technique I sometimes use with my clients (and I use it too!). Let’s say you’re transitioning your child from your room to their own room and you’re having all sorts of nervous, yet excited feelings about it. You’re nervous because you’ve been so used to having them at arm’s reach and being able to check on them frequently throughout the night, yet you’re also excited to have your bedroom back and hopefully get better sleep for the both of you. First off, know that all your feelings are valid. Then take a moment to envision what it may look like when your child has settled nicely into their new environment and you have your privacy back. It may help settle some of the angst you have and help you keep going throughout the transition to think of the end goal and how nice it may be.  

Transitions are difficult and we may not talk about them with each other enough which may make us feel more lonely and isolated in how we’re feeling. You’ll get through it mama, it won’t always be this unsettling or frightening.

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Choosing the Right Daycare and Transitioning Your Child

Childen playing on the ground

Choosing the right daycare for your child can be tricky and I know it can already be a time of heightened emotions as you think about leaving your baby in the care of someone else.  Here are some of the things that helped me in choosing the right daycare for my child and I hope they help you too!

  1. Start early– here in Canada our maternity leaves are typically 12-18 months long and I started looking for a daycare when my babies were both around 3 months old. I started doing an online search of all the daycares close to me and I read reviews on each one. Daycares fill up fast so the sooner you start, the more likelihood you’ll find a spot at your preferred daycare.
  2. Make a list of the most important things you want in a daycare.  This will help you decide which daycare to go with at the end-the one that meets most of your criteria. Of course no daycare centre is perfect but when you take time to think about what is most important to you at the daycare where your child will be, it will really help you choose the right daycare that you’re most comfortable with.
  3. Personally visit each daycare centre. Make a list of all the potential daycare centres you are interested in and call each one. Set up appointments to go in and take a look around and meet the staff. This step is huge!
  4. Pay attention to how things run and ask make a list of questions to ask. When you’re visiting the daycare centre, here are some things you may want to pay attention to:
    • Class layout-are there activities/toys that seem in relatively good condition? What kinds of things are available for the children to play with?
    • Daycare’s philosophy: Ask the daycare about their philosophy and if they encourage mostly free unstructured play or if they have planned activities with the children or both.
    • Toys-do they get sanitized/cleaned regularly? Do they rotate the toys? Do the toys appear to be safe for your child’s developmental level?
    • Food- ask to see a menu and ask about portions.
    • If you are still breastfeeding and would like to continue breastfeeding your child while they are at daycare, discuss this with the daycare from the start. Just be prepared that if you do go in at mid-day to breastfeed your child, leaving him/her again might be very difficult- I talk from experience!
    • The caregivers can make or break the class so get to know them and observe their interaction style with the children. Do they seem overwhelmed and easily frustrated by the children? Do they complain about their job to you? Do they seem warm and nurturing?
    • Biting/hitting policy- it’s important to know this ahead of time so you know what to expect in case your child gets hurt or hurts another child.
    • Sick policy-most daycares have a policy regarding when a child has to go home after exhibiting certain symptoms and how long they have to be symptom-free before returning.
    • Does the daycare have more enhanced technology in that they provide parents with pictures/updates throughout the day? Some daycares have Ipads that the staff use to take pictures and email to the parents which most parents find reassuring.
    • Trust your instincts. This is where your child will be spending most of his/her day. If you walk in and you don’t feel welcomed, or if you feel that everyone seems stressed/overwhelmed and that you just don’t have a good vibe, chances are you’re right.

Transitioning Your Child:

  • Go for several visits at different times of the day. When you’ve narrowed your choice down to the daycare you’re most comfortable with, plan to go for visits 1-2 times a week, starting a few weeks before your child is due to start attending regularly. Visiting your chosen daycare at different times of the day is a good strategy-one day plan to go in the morning, another day go closer to lunch time and then go near the end of the day on another visit. This step is really important as it not only helps you see how the centre functions at different times of the day when different things are going on and perhaps different staff are around, but it will also help your child feel more comfortable in this new environment.
  • Transition your child slowly to the new daycare centre. I took my daughter for visits 1-2 times per week starting the month before returning to work so that she could become more comfortable and it really helped her transition. I would stay with her during these visits and then I had her stay by herself two half-days a week, and then two full days the week before returning to work. I wanted to make sure she was comfortable in her new environment and with the staff and that her naps were going well.
  • Engage with the daycare staff in front of your child. This will help your child learn that they are safe people and become more comfortable with them.
  • Provide your chosen daycare centre with important information about your child. This can include their nap-times, how they usually nap, their coping/soothing strategies and coping items, their likes and dislikes, anything that you think will help them know your child more and therefore help them transition as smoothly as possible.

Keep in mind: it will be a difficult transition for both you and your child even if you do all the above or some variance of it. Separation is not easy and it will take time for both of you to get used to it.  Listen to your gut-if something doesn’t feel right, address it.  Also, it helped me to have the realistic expectation that no childcare provider is perfect. Even a child’s own parents will still have their moments where they don’t act/talk in the best manner possible. We can’t expect the people caring for our children to be flawless and be Mary Poppins all day long around our children. Having said that, you should feel comfortable and reassured that you’re leaving your child in good hands.

It may be helpful to reach out to other mothers who are currently in the same boat or have experienced putting their children in daycare before. I had a wonderful friend who gave me a lot of encouragement and reassurance and made the whole transition back to work much easier!

It will always be difficult leaving your child.  I still miss my children everyday when I drop them off but knowing that they’re happy and safe and in a stimulating, engaging and nurturing environment is reassuring!