Tag: mindfulparenting

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Activities That Keep My Kids Entertained, and Keep me Sane

Childen playing on the ground

These are my favourite activities to do with my kids- and we’ve been doing them a lot more these days. Just a little disclaimer though- I hesitated before posting this because I never want another mom to see this post and think I have it all together and that my kids don’t have screen time and are easy to entertain. My kids watch tv, we watch family movies together, and I certainly don’t always have it together. These activities are things I use throughout the week and I’ve found them helpful and wanted to help out other moms. We’re all in this together! I have a two-year-old and a four-year-old so most of these activities are things we can all do together given their ages. You may need to adapt them given your children’s ages.

  • Picnic in the living room/basement/patio. I love this one and I’ve used it a few times this year on those rainy days at home -It’s an instant mood booster for my children and it gets them excited. I get them to help me pack our picnic basket. We usually do it in our living room. We lay a plastic table cover underneath us and sit together and eat our lunch. Sometimes to really get us in the zone, I put a youtube video of a nice meadow or nature scenes with nice music in the background- I know it sounds kind of cheesy but it really does give it a picnic feel.
  • Use household items to make crafts. I love this one and I’ve been using it a lot during this past week. Empty paper towel roll? My son uses it to decorate his new telescope. Empty cereal box? We flatten it, open it up, and make it our new city which my son paints, decorates, and builds buildings on using LEGO’s (thank you @busytoddler for this one) Empty egg cartons can be used to make all sorts of crafts too or for sorting activities.
  • Indoor camping. This fits in with my indoor picnic idea. When we get to that point in the afternoon/evening where everyone is having a hard time especially after being indoors for most of the day, I say “who wants to go camping?” My kids right away know to bring pillows and blankets onto the ground near our fireplace and they know I’m grabbing marshmallows from the kitchen. We all sit on the ground, eat marshmallows by the fire and each person takes a turn sharing a story.
  • Scavenger hunt. Nothing like a good scavenger hunt to get children excited. I find it doesn’t even take that much prep work. Pick 5-10 items you can hide around your house (I use snacks too as a bonus incentive and then they can eat them right after- buys me more quiet time and less-asking-for-snacks later). I read the list of items to my kids (they’re 2 and 4 so they need a bit more help with this one) and then off they go. Some of the items I hide include: Mr. Potato-Head, paw patrol toys, picture frames, wooden alphabet letters, legos (find a yellow lego piece), etc.
  • Hide-and-seek. I love this one for several reasons. It gets my kids up and moving, they’re beyond excited throughout it, and I get to do most of it while sitting on the couch. My son usually wants me to be “it” and asks that I count to 30 (or 9 somedays) We usually play it in our basement so I can literally see them the whole time and I don’t have to walk all over the house trying to find them then when I’m done counting I take my time trying to “find” them. They love it, it keeps them entertained, and I get to finish my coffee while it’s hot. Win-win.
  • Keeping a journal. My son’s teacher sent home a blank journal on their last day of school and asked parents to have their children keep a record of what they did during this time at home. I’ve incorporated it into our late afternoon daily routine and my son doesn’t mind it. I ask him to draw (he’s 4 so he can’t really write a whole lot yet) his favourite activity we did that day. I know it’ll be nice to look back on when this is all over and it helps him appreciate the things we did that day.
  • Pull out the craft box. I have a supply of craft items (construction paper, pipe cleaners, paint, crayons, markers, glue, scissors, beads, Pom-poms). Sometimes I find a craft idea online and we do it together and other times it’s just do-whatever-your-imagination-wants type of craft.
  • Play restaurant. Tell your children that you’re visiting their restaurant (they can come up with a name for it too!) and tell them your order. Depending on their age, they can actually make the items or for younger kids, they can make them out of play-doh. I usually order spaghetti and meatballs which are pretty easy for my kids to make out of play-doh. It keeps the kids entertained while you sit at the kitchen table-Another win-win!
  • Obstacle course. Have your child build an obstacle course that their favourite toys/trucks have to get through. You can use legos, pillows, Kleenex boxes, anything really and you’ll be amazed what they come up with.

Having said all of this, just a little reminder mama that if you already have activities that work or if you read some of these ideas and think “my children would never enjoy this” then that’s totally okay too! I never want to post something that puts more pressure on mothers- we have enough to manage already. These are simply activities that have worked for us and have a positive effect on my children and on our overall morale at home.

We’re all in this together.

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Preparing Your Child for Kindergarten

boy colouring

 I’ve been thinking so much about my son’s journey of formal education starting this September and along with trying to keep my emotions in check, I’ve been trying to prepare him for kindergarten. My son has been going to daycare/preschool for the past couple of years now since I returned to work after my maternity leave. He’s used to the structure of a classroom and a routine which I know will be helpful. He has adjusted to being in a class with other children and 1-2 educators and having to wait his turn and share toys/activities. He has learned some very important skills which I know will serve him well as he enters school. His preschool has been primarily play-based so he’s had pretty much full days of unstructured play time which is great for children’s development and nurturing of social skills.

I’ve been talking to some of my teacher friends and trying to understand more about what kindergarten will look like. I think one of the biggest changes for my son will be that he will no longer have the opportunity to nap as he is still taking a mid-day nap at this point. The other thing he will have to adjust to is a brand new school with new staff and new children. My son has a difficult time with transitions but I’ll discuss below some of my strategies to help this transition be a smooth one.

I hope you find some of these strategies helpful in preparing your child for school and some tips on drop-off and pick up.

  1. Talk to your child about it.  Talking to children about the transition coming up ahead can be really helpful and choosing the right approach is key. Talking about all the exciting things they will get to learn and explore at school and trying to associate school with positive things will help. Walking them through what a typical school day will look like for them can help settle some of their fears as unpredictability and unfamiliarity are hard things for children to cope with.
  2. Read books about starting school with your child. I’ve invested in a couple books about starting school and I’ve been reading them with my son. Stories are such a powerful way to help make concepts easier to understand for children. We have a Daniel Tiger one that my son loves. I use stories for pretty much every transition my son has had to cope with (potty training, a new sibling, sleeping in a big bed, etc.)
  3. Validate their feelings. My son told me the other day that he was scared to go to “big boy school.” I validated his feelings and told him that it’s okay to feel frightened about going to a new school. I told him that we would help him through it and that one day it won’t feel as scary anymore.
  4. Take them to visit their new school. Although schools are closed during the summer, you can still drive by the school and show it to your child and show them the playground and get them excited about it. It’s much easier than showing up on the first day to a place they’ve never seen before or have only visited once. Most schools also have tours that you can go on-ask your child’s school if they can come for a tour of the school and their class.
  5. Teach your child how to do things on their own. In kindergarten, there are many children in the class and often times only 1-2 educators. I’ve been working on helping my son become more independent with dressing/undressing, opening containers and toileting as these are things he’ll be typically expected to do on his own.
  6. Get your child involved in picking out school supplies. This can really get them excited about it and reduce some of their anxiety about going to school.
  7. Keepsake. Get them a little keepsake they can keep with them and give it to them on their first day. It can be something very small that they can keep in their pocket which they can hold whenever they feel lonely or scared.
  8. Drop off tip: At drop-off, instead of focusing on the separation, focus on what’ll happen when you pick them up. Tell them you’ll go home and have a nice treat together or play a favourite game of theirs. Having a snack in the car for the way home can be really helpful as children are usually hungry and tired after a long day and it can help to prevent meltdowns until dinner is ready.
  9. After school tip: Give them time and space to unwind after a long day. We all love this as adults, and children do as well. Sometimes children just need to sit down in their familiar home environment and play with a familiar toy or read a book they like as a way to decompress after a long, emotional day. Try not to bombard them with questions on how their day went right away. Give them time to process and relax and then through play, you’ll find that they’ll be more willing to share about their day.

You’ve got this mama, and so does your child.

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One of the Most Important Things I’ve Done Since Becoming a Mother

Managing our expectations and keeping them realistic is essential to our mental health, our self-esteem, and our overall well-being. Managing my expectations of myself, my parenting, and my children has been one of the most important things I’ve done since becoming a mother. This didn’t happen overnight for me- it took a long time to get to a place where I’m okay with things not always going smoothly or if my house isn’t in the best state or if my children don’t always act the way I want them to.

When I first became a mom almost four years ago, I’d be mortified if my son started acting up in public. I’d think that everyone would be judging me for being a bad mother who couldn’t control her child’s behaviour and the negative tape would start playing. Since I’ve started setting realistic expectations for my children’s behaviour, I’m much more relaxed now (although it’s still a work in progress). For example, I went to a stars and strollers show at the movie theatre (it’s a show dedicated for moms who want to bring their babies to a movie and they keep the lights on and lower the volume and have changing tables around etc.) I called up a friend and we took our babies. Before going, I had set my expectations really low and told myself that if my daughter only let me watch 30 mins of a 2-hour movie, I’d be happy! My daughter gave me 30 mins of peace and quiet and happily sat on my lap and ate her snacks. She then became restless (rightfully so- she’s only 13 months!) so she started crawling around everywhere, cried at some points, climbed up and down the stairs, tried to eat stuff off the ground, etc.) We didn’t make it to the end of the movie which I was fine with. I chose to focus on the good aspects of our outing and the time she did let me enjoy rather than focus on the frustrating and exhausting moments. I knew from the outset that it wasn’t going to be a smooth outing yet it wasn’t all bad and it went almost better than I expected.  Having realistic expectations of my daughter really helped.

Having reaIistic expectations of yourself is also so important. I hear a lot of mothers saying they wish they had more time and energy to cook more homemade meals, maintain a clean and organized home, take their children to more playgroups/activities, plan outings with their friends and resume some sort of a social life, carve out time to work out, among a multitude of other things. Yes it’s good to aspire to do better, but the problem becomes when these aspirations dampen our spirits, make us feel that these goals are unattainable and therefore we’re failing somehow, and make us feel that we’re not doing this whole motherhood thing right. None of these things are actually true. When we become mothers, are bodies and minds are consumed with caring for our children and we expect so much more of ourselves when caring for children is a full-time 24-hour/day job in and of itself.

Take a moment and look at your life and all your responsibilities and commitments and marvel at how well you’ve been doing this far. You do laundry once a week? Great. You cook one meal a week? Awesome. You did something for yourself this week? Fabulous. You survived an outing with your children and everyone came back home safely and somewhat happy? Marvelous.

You may see other moms who seem to be juggling more than you but please for your sake, your family’s sake and your sanity’s sake, don’t compare yourself to others. We are all so different in terms of our bodies, our capabilities, our support systems, our family dynamics, etc. No one has it all together, no one.

I know it’s hard to redefine our expectations when we’re used to a particular standard but here are some tips that I have found helpful:

Prioritize. Before going to sleep at night, make a list of the top 5 things that need to be done the next day. Factor in all appointments/meetings and figure out what tasks need to be done before/after. This will help keep you organized and it may reduce your stress from all the other things that you feel you need to do, but don’t have enough time for.

Done list. At the end of the day, make a mental note- or even better write it out – of all the things you did accomplish that day-even the smallest of tasks. This can make us feel so productive and accomplished and it’ll show you that you’re probably doing more than you think you are.

Positive Affirmations. Positive affirmations are this treasure that not very many people know about, yet has substantial benefits on our mindset and our well-being. Imagine if you told yourself throughout the day “I’m doing the best I can,”  “my children love me’ “I am a good mother.”  There are so many affirmations that can really help you change your mindset and help with making more realistic expectations. I like telling myself before an outing with my kids “it may not go smoothly or as well as I’d like, but that’s ok. I’m not a bad mother if my children act out or don’t listen to me. Worst case scenario, we’ll just come back home.” This really helps me instead of expecting that things “should” go smoothly and that everyone will be on their best behaviour and listen to me. The latter expectation will only set me up for more frustration.

You’re doing a great job. You have so much potential to do the things you want and need to do but give yourself some grace if you can’t do it all at once.