There’s so much emphasis on pregnancy, labour, and childbirth but I’ve noticed that the postpartum experience of a mother isn’t given as much attention as it deserves. Regardless of how many times you’ve already experienced it, each postpartum experience can be different and comes with unique struggles and joys. After enduring labour pains, childbirth and then experiencing all the emotional highs of meeting your precious baby, the postpartum period can be quite challenging on so many levels.
I recently took a training course on postpartum recoveries and practices in different cultures and I was astounded to learn how mothers are treated in different parts of the world. In Morocco for example, the mother is held in such high stature and is tended to for at least 40 days by family and friends. There are beautiful traditions that take place in this culture and in many others where the mother is enveloped in support by those around her and all that is required of her is to rest, take care of herself, and her child. According to studies done, the incidences of postpartum mood and anxiety disorders in these cultures is noticeably less.
I find here in North America the postpartum experience is generally quite different. Mothers may be living away from family or they may be living near family but their families are unable to support them as much as is needed. Mothers may end up feeling alone, isolated, burnt out, and ultimately, depressive symptoms start to arise along with heightened anxiety, among other mental health challenges.
The supportive village that is so essential to mothers’ emotional, physical, and mental wellbeing is unfortunately not the norm. Mothers are having to juggle housework, school/daycare drop-offs and pick-ups (for those with multiple children) as well as keeping up with so many other demands. This is all being done while the mother is simultaneously trying to take care of a newborn baby with needs around the clock, as well as trying to heal herself and recover from such a remarkable experience. She may find that hours have gone by without a sip of water or a bite to eat as she’s trying to manage the demands of her new life and trying to adjust and find some semblance of a functional routine.
The postpartum experience can be even more challenging when a mother receives negative comments or unsolicited advice that may leave her feeling less confident, more guilty, and less equipped to care for her baby. We need to encourage and empower mothers to seek help when they need it, and to also trust their intuition. When offering a mother advice, it should be done with kindness, compassion, and letting her know that she should decide what is best for her baby.
Many mothers I’ve spoken to discuss how lonely they feel and that they struggle along their motherhood journeys and these feelings are further perpetuated by society’s expectations to bounce back and manage everything all on their own. This isn’t even mentioning the difficulties some mothers experience with returning to work so soon after the birth of their baby (in some countries, maternity leaves are only 45 days- I’ll be dedicating an entire post to this so stay tuned).
There’s a lot of emphasis on baby’s health and how baby is doing which is of course essential, however do we look as closely to the mother’s health and well-being? Many women are not screened for mental health challenges at their 6-week check-ups and they are sometimes too afraid or embarrassed to open up about how they are feeling to others. What could we be doing better as a society to help support, empower, and encourage mothers during such a pivotal time of their lives?