I’m sure we can all agree how beneficial and great breastfeeding is but do we also talk about how common it is to experience breastfeeding difficulties? I did a poll on my Instagram stories recently and 75% of moms indicated that they found breastfeeding difficult at some point.
Breastfeeding is amazing and miraculous and when you really think about it, it’s absolutely wonderful. However, I think a lot of us moms are shocked when we first attempt breastfeeding our babies and find it’s not as easy or straight-forward as we thought it would be. I mean, how could it be so hard? You just put baby on your breast and away he/she goes with the feeding- surely our mothers and their mothers did it so it must be easy because no one ever talked about it being hard. Then we try it and we realize it’s not what we expected it to be like. We think we’re doing it all wrong because we’ve never heard another mom talk about how much it hurts when the baby latches on or that it took a month for their baby to learn how to latch and feed properly or that they had gut-wrenching pain with every feeding. We never heard of cracked nipples and soreness and the exhaustion from trying and trying to feed and get the perfect latch and positioning and still our babies come off hungry and fussy and we feel all our hard work has gone down the drain. We never heard about mastitis and plugged ducts or tongue ties/lip ties.
You may start thinking that you’re the only one struggling and that you’re messing up this whole motherhood thing. But you’re not. You’re not alone and you’re not messing it up. It really is that hard.
I’ve been wanting to write this post for some time now because I’ve heard from so many mothers about how challenging their breastfeeding journey was. I want to normalize how difficult it can be so that when a new mom tries to breastfeed and realizes how hard it is, she doesn’t come down hard on herself or think that she’s the only one. If you’re having breastfeeding troubles, know that so many mothers are experiencing or have experienced the exact same thing. There is lots of help out there if you need it- lactation consultants really helped me along my breastfeeding journey so don’t be afraid to reach out.
I had a lactation consultant help me out in the hospital before being discharged and then I had a nurse come out to my house two days after being home with my son and she really helped me with positioning and latching. I thought I was prepared since I had taken a prenatal breastfeeding workshop and I had read all sorts of books before having my first baby but when it came down to the real deal, I was lost and confused. I spent hours on the couch feeding my son for the first couple months and I remember feeling so disheartened every time I read online that nursing sessions shouldn’t take more than 45 minutes on average and that newborns typically eat every 3 hours- both of which were far-fetched realities for me.
Most of the mothers I personally know have also experienced some difficulty of some sort with breastfeeding. You are not any less of a good mother if breastfeeding didn’t work out for you. I hear from many mothers that breastfeeding is a huge source of guilt because it didn’t work out the way they had hoped. Your feelings are 100% valid but the good news is that there are so many opportunities for you to bond with your baby and give him/her a great start in life.
So if you’re currently struggling with breastfeeding or you have struggled in the past, please know this: you’re not failing- breastfeeding really can be that hard.